Tag Archives: silk

A Man in a Tie.

I have wanted to write this specific post since the 16th of January.  I have known (most of) the story for a couple of years care of my girlfriend Zeljka but not another day is going by without my getting this written.


Click here http://www.croata.hr/en/gentlemen/cravats/cravats/cc559/ for 74 PAGES of exquisite men’s ties from Croata!

There are few things that women agree upon when it comes to men, but I would be willing to bet that the allure of a man wearing a good dress shirt and a handsome, and well-tied, silk tie is certainly one; the attraction is almost as primal as the overwhelming desire we have to pull the end of ribbon to get at a gift.

The modern necktie takes its origins from the red kerchiefs worn by Croatian soldiers in the 17th century (Thirty Years War). The sartorial word, cravat, derives from the corrupted French pronunciation of Croat(e) ‘La Cravate’ thus coming into the lexicon of the day. If you do a search online this is generally accepted as historically accurate, but it’s only a portion of the story. All those websites toting this to market their wares fail to mention how this long piece of muslin or silk wrapped once about the neck of a Croatian soldier and tied in a loose knot came to be – lovers.

cravatIt was the tying of such by a woman upon her sweethearts’ neck, sending her man off to war with a prayer and a promise of fidelity that started this. Essentially, in accepting the kerchief, he was bound to her should he return from war. In the contemporary sense, the use of various metaphors of business as war, it is the same and Fast Company best sums it up: “Business in the New Economy is a civilized version of war. Companies, not countries, are the battlefield rivals.” And the spoils of those wars fought daily? Still the companionship of a lover to come home to. Which brings me back to the almost primal connection we have to unwrapping a present (though I am unaware of any sociological or psychological studies to document the phenomenon) a hand on his chest just at the heart monitors both the elevation of his breath and heart rate, fingers slipping into a silk knot at a man’s throat and gently, but firmly, loosening it (and him) from the constraints of his day – in my humble opinion there is not a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g more seductive. I digress.

“Personal style isn’t simply an exercise in parroting but rather an exhibition for our own stories – from the gait of our walk to the rhythm of our speech to the manner in which the necktie falls from the knot.” ~ LZ Granderson

And it is this space, “the manner in which the necktie falls”, that I revert to the Croatian origins of 20150116_112354the tie. You see back in January I was in Rijeka, Croatia for the day. Stunned by the Baroque beauty architecture of this city of the former Austro-Hungarian Empire (from 1466 onward 450 years), as I said I knew 20150116_121747_HDRof the back-story of the cravat, and though I had seen a handful of Croata shops in the previous two and a half months of my stay in Croatia I had not yet entered one of their stores. Something was different energetically and visually here though.  On the wall directly behind the glass door was a colour of fresh cream silk Charmeuse cravat (photo at left). Because just as a Tuxedo should only be worn with a hand-tied black silk bow tie this swath of finished ivory silk had the same net effect on my psyche. Suddenly all I saw was a romantic nod to a time when harpsichords and viola de gamba were played and men wore embroidered waistcoats, breeches with hose (showing off their legs to great advantage), and cutaway jackets made of fine silk brocade or velvet embellished with passementarie, and a tiny part of me involuntarily swooned. I had only meant to ask to take a picture, but before me was quite literally the history of the tie in a series of watercolours hung upon the walls and that history pulled me into it as well as the store where stories and pride of both country and company ebulliently poured forth from Sven, the store’s sales manager, I was enthralled. To discover that not only are 99% of Croata offerings made within Croatia’s geopolitical boundaries but the hyper-exclusive and limited edition (only 25 of the same tie are produced) nature of these make an Hermès tie as common as an Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt; somehow all this was translated into further validation for making this dragon shaped country bound by the sea my permanent home. 20150116_122233

I tied a red silk kerchief around the neck of a singular, imaginary, Croatian man that day, pledging my heart and love to the country in the process. At the time I didn’t know how accurate that troth would become in the coming months, and the reality I now live daily – though still from afar.  Can’t wait to get my fingers into that knot that binds me, loosen it, and be welcomed home.

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There will be light! An utterly incongruent story of six lamps.

As my dear friend Ken Herron said when I told him the story, “You can’t make this stuff up!” and while the following may provide evidence to the contrary I am not (as he said) a “crazy lamp lady”.

I will admit, I live on the edge of outright financial disaster, but surrounded by beauty (which makes up for a lot) and always in a state of gratitude. I have very little in terms of expectation, and I am ridiculously happy for my version of normal which for anyone else would likely bring about bleeding ulcers, nocturnal teeth grinding and require serious pharmaceuticals to abate sitting in the corner of the room rocking back and forth and drooling on myself.  I trace this ‘cause and effect’ back to the willful folly of a 17 or 18 year old me desiring something denied by my father who said no more times than not to me while rarely denying my brother a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g, and my intuitive sense of navigation to find a way around an ‘in trust for’ passbook bank account and to the desired financial assets. (Whereupon my father announced that he was “washing his hands of me” – c’est la vie.)  I recall years later my mother saying something sarcastic about the fact that I always buy myself what I want by way of explanation for not receiving anything for my birthday, yet again. Sigh. I learned self sufficiency (for need and want) in an environment of disproportion; I am unapologetic.

intentionThat expressed, nice things happen to me. Frequently. Specialness that you could only put at the threshold of a universe that demands equilibrium.  A universe where intention manifests, despite the totally illogical, circuitous path traveled and where I find myself with (undeserved?) abundance. This is a true story about such. About how I “shouldn’t have, but did” and how in the end it worked out better than any rational human being assigning risk management theories could predict or that common sense would dictate. This story is about the universe saying yes when it should have denied me, and didn’t. This is the utterly incongruous story of six lamps and the unexpected, but very happy ending on my path to reinvention and relocation.

In 1992 I bought a pair of antique Famille Verte Chinese covered urns with mud decorations and battle scenes with carved rosewood stands for $99 (inclusive) in a junk cum antique DSCN9916shop in Buffalo, NY’s Allentown district.  I then took them to renowned antique dealer Dana Tillou (I have also been a customer of his nephew Jeffrey) to ‘see what I had scored’ only to have Dana gently suggest that given their value (at the time about $1100) I not drill them and turn them into lamps; which of course is precisely why I bought them and what I did. Elmwood Lighting (now out of business) did the honors and with the custom ecru silk lampshades the bill came to $161 and change (I had the receipt until fairly recently) all in $260.

Fast forward to 2013.

When I decided to uproot my life (to at the time destination unknown) last year I decided that I would start selling off my possessions to make the move easier, and with a new life would come a complete redo of my living-room decoration.  So I listed them on eBay, they had a buyer, who turned out to be one of those eBayers that give the company a bad reputation with sellers, for the $260 I had ‘invested’ after enjoying them for 20 years.  Alas, she opened a case and claimed “not as represented” (and then as broken) and eBay in their wisdom offered her a complete refund because I had insurance on the two boxes even while she had not returned the lamps.  I filed a claim with USPS, asked her to make them available to an inspector, to return them and hoped for at least the $200. Months dragged on, but eventually USPS issued a check for the $200 and a couple weeks later the lamps came back – not a total loss but time and money would have to be spent to find a replacement carved rosewood base and have the repairs done.  Eventually these would happily sell a second time for the same $260; net gain was about $170. Another lamp uneventfully sold for $260 putting my cash flow in the $430 range.

Obviously if you are selling lamps there is still the need for lighting to see after dark.  And my longest, dearest held girlfriend Doris (an age peer of my parents) once had a pair of reticulated Blanc de Chine ginger jars that had been wired and sat on her mantle that I loved.  The man that ran her downsizing household sale was having an estate sale in my DSCN0001neighborhood and I managed to score a reticulated Blanc de Chine vase, the base already drilled, from him for $18 (picture at right). I found an antique hand carved Chinese wooden display stand that fit on eBay (actually, eventually, two) for $60 and had my lovely local lamp repair guy Brian handle the wiring for me – $79 (brass fittings and labor, tax).  I shipped the new lamp to NYC for a custom silk lampshade as no local business to my current home does such work at a cost of about $50. If you are doing the math along with me here that meant that I was still ‘up’ $233 after using my other lamps for roughly 20 years, not a bad ROI.

After massive grief and delays (three months) in having the custom turquoise blue silk pagoda lampshade made the lamp arrived back in one box and the lampshade in another – fully insured thank God – bill $640 (I know, I know, I am insane but I beg you not to look at me that way) for the lampshade and the shipping back. Technically speaking the whole gorgeous lamp with the shade came at an end cost $417.) BUT, the lamp base arrived back to me shattered! (argh), receipts forwarded to FedEx, more grief, partial refund requested, more dialogue, more emails, more receipts, waiver on claim, still broken lamp and an expensive lampshade and no lamp and then finally, nearly miraculously, a check arrives from FedEx – not a partial refund but a check that covered the shipping, the lampshade that wasn’t damaged, and the lamp – for $825 and some change!  Now the net cost of the new gorgeous lamp is actually nothing, and I have “made” $408 in the process.

Here’s where it gets even more interesting.  I was looking for a lamp finial for the Blanc de Chine vase lamp – so off to eBay and that’s where I found the dragon porcelain lamp (see the Pinterest story by clicking here, start at the bottom to see what it looked like on eBay) and finiala lamp finial ultimately paying $215 (including the shipping). Alas, it had a serious ugly lamp cap and an eBay source sold me a solid brass one that is PERFECT for $3. The accounting? Still ahead by $190!  The finial turned out to be really big (for either lamp) at 3” in diameter and a bunch of research turns out that it is actually an antique carved Mutton Fat (white) jade plaque from China (quite valuable) turned into a finial likely late 1800s so I listed it on eBay (more on this in a bit).

My lamp guy charged me $30 to rewire (what turned out to be gilt ormolu mounted) the porcelain lamp, and I am still ahead by $160. My 2nd new lamp now needs a lampshade.  DSCN9991There is no way I can justify another custom silk shade so I try the blue one on this lamp and decide it looks perfect but the Blanc de Chine, now devoid of its custom pagoda shade, needs one. Back online to do research for something “in stock” and I settle upon a black silk shade with gilt lining DSCN9999but I am not spending $89 plus shipping. So back to eBay where, to my utter amazement, I find the perfect size, brand new, unused, oval, black silk with gilt paper lining shade originally sold in a town that I lived in out on Long Island’s North Shore – and I auction snipe it (bidding at the 30 second mark before the auction ended) and score it for $19 (including the shipping)! It looks amazing and despite all the energy expended my two new lamps have a total cost of nothing and I have made $141!!!

That is not the end of this story. Remember the carved jade plaque as a lamp finial? I sold it on eBay for $800. (Not factoring in eBay and PayPal fees) the universe has netted me two breathtaking lamps and I wound up making $940 – which, if I am truthful, should have been used to pay my rent in the first place instead of messing around buying lamps and that is where the money eventually went.

Both lamps have “cousins” on the 1stDibs website – the Blanc de Chine at $2250 and the gilt mounted porcelain 19th century French oil lamp that had been converted at $3000. A 60 watt bare bulb would ‘do’ for reading and no one actually needs a pair of lamps worth $5200 but I do love how the universe conspires to let me live with beauty – which is exactly what I ‘need’.

I still have this antique Paris porcelain one to sell with its custom silk shade – if you are interested. 😉

P.S. September 2014 – the Paris Porcelain one sold – $325 – bringing my grand total net gain $1265.

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