Earlier this week my dear girlfriend Jennifer posted this (at right) from Word Porn on her Facebook wall and I responded with “Thus my use of tears.” There was a lot of intellectual prowess offered in subsequent comments and a couple from strategic consultant and author Eric Best, who wrote:
“The inability to express a feeling should not be confused with what might be the inability to have the feeling. […] Yes, and too much speech can leave us emotionless.”
It’s pouring out right now, those heavy drops of rain that give rise to unspoken meaning – something we feel rather than what we can adequately express. And as my brain fires into seemingly disconnected segues on a regular basis, those raindrops made me think of a couple of other conversations I have had this week – language is a funny thing.
As many of you reading my blog have come to know I am a marketing communications professional and an author, parlaying my love of words into chronicling the next incarnation of myself and in finding a deeply romantic and spiritually aligned love through OKCupid. Three days ago I was having simultaneous conversations (sadly in English as I do not have command of each of their native tongues) with five men – one each in Northern Ireland, Croatia, Sweden, Italy and a Frenchman presumed in Barcelona but in fact in Biarritz named Michel.
“I would have certainly many things to talk about with you, and most probably we would not fight. BUT there is a very important restriction, and you shall never forget it: we speak in your language, which you play perfectly well, and on my side, i am a clumsy and basic user. This may potentially give birth to many deep misunderstandings. So please, keep prudent and lower your impetuous fire. ;-)” […] It is not concerned by the words themselves, but by the unconscious meaning we give them when we are emotional. I want to say something, but you hear another thing. Of course this is not for such sentences as “your eggs are boiled”, but when emotions are overwhelming.”
To which point, I responded with the fact that I was embracing a refresher course in French and my goal was to be able to think and dream as a French woman, and, for the second time in a week:
“I did understand your point about the nuances of lingua franca, colloquial meaning, thinking in a language is quite different than speaking or writing it. When emotions are overwhelming tears always work for me!”
Which brings me to Marijan, living on an island within a breathtaking archipelago off the Dalmatian coast in the Adriatic, who only wishes to speak in “the language of love.” We all know that love has a variety manifestations, I will confine this post to just two meanings – the first sweeping, swooning and romantic in nature and the second being Divine, spiritual, compassionate, holistic and enlightened (as previously stated I am seeking to merge these into one lover). Marijan refers to the second in the context of ‘dealing with me’ and the rest of humanity but in sharing our connectedness in context of the latter, in exposing me to the culture of his country in video music hyperlinks, a stronger woman would have difficulty not to mix the two types of love and their meanings (I am not strong and sometimes, unintentionally, he makes me swoon). My initial impressions of Marijan is that he is a combination of Croatian Yoda, Jean-Louis “Jack” Kérouac and the Dalai Lama but he reminds me of Louis de Bernières’ Corelli’s Mandolin and Nicholas Cage’s character in the 2001 film of the same title. It is the scope of Marijan’s love of life and living, the energy he gives away, that he feels and responds to, the depth of his thoughts as he expresses them that cause your breath to catch and your heart to resonant with white light energy, in other words Divine love.
This is precisely what my dear girlfriend Hilal and I were just bantering about over some of my recent posts when she emailed me from her home in Istanbul:
“Reading this post and the one before, I had a feeling that you have great love of the One and for the One say it Almighty, say it Benevolent, God or Allah. This is great but you are mistaken this love with the type of love of and love for a human/a lover. Love of the One is unlimited and unconditional whereas the love of a lover is limited and sooner or later conditional.”
And my response:
“In this my dearest we can disagree – all love, regardless of its manifestation in our lives, originates from Divine love. Sometimes that love is transient (only to teach us a lesson that the Divine wishes us to understand) but it is all from Divine (in my humble opinion).”
And then her reply:
“You put it nicely what I was trying to say: “all love, regardless of its manifestation in our lives, originates from Divine love.” No doubt about this and I think we agree on this. What, I don’t agree with you is the topic of manifestation of Divine love in our lives bit: You were writing about manifestation of Divine love with humans- friends, husband or lover-s etc. Whereas, what I think, for divine love to manifest, we don’t need husband or lovers because we emanate this pure love wherever we go or with whomever we are. So, I feel that manifestation of the Divine love to one individual in a relationship because of my choice (i.e. falling in love w/someone, or getting married) is limiting the unlimited Divine love. I don’t need to get married, have kids, lover etc to be able to manifest the Divine love. OK, getting married does not mean that I am limiting the manifestation of Divine love, either but how can I say, I feel that it is our ego- to have the ownership of loved ones, my husband, my kids etc. I think now I am confusing myself as I cannot write clearly. We need to Skype so you can interrupt and ask clarifications. My point comes from an assumption that manifestation of this UNLIMITED and UNCONDITIONAL love, the Divine love in a relationship, meaning on human beings, who are limited and conditional doesn’t match together. It is like disrespecting the Divine love and mistaken its manifestation with the love I feel for a person.”
It isn’t for lack of tools online to translate words from language to language, but the colloquial understanding, the harmonic resonance of our souls, the interpretation of words and emotions based upon our unique perspectives that is both inherent nature and circumstantial nurture that is something else, more elevated and nuanced. I believe that active listening, which doesn’t limit us to hearing but includes the use of our heart, can finish sentences when words fail us.
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