Society under the microscope – male violence, slut-shaming and just plain stupid

50I am not an expert on human sexuality.  My ‘pleasure’ reading has not taken me down paths of Fifty Shades of Grey – though I thoroughly enjoyed Robert Hellenga’s The Sixteen Pleasures despite its less than happy ending.

I have a healthy respect for the pleasure that two consenting ADULTS can provide for, and take from one another.  I can support this post by saying I wear beautiful lingerie, for me.

DSCN9968I own a bespoke corset (not black) be-ribboned and laced with garters (sadly not worn for any reason in several years) because I had an emerald green silk gown made to wear to the opera in Vienna. I am quick to pick out something f-a-b-u-l-o-u-s in a girlfriend’s size to encourage the full ardor of her new lover (even if she has ghost lovers screaming in her head that she is anything but sexy) or make her realise that ‘icing’ in any form really can make a woman feel like a goddess (even when she is not being worshipped).  But, for me, it is the appreciation for and giving expression to ‘beauty’ driving my ethos of mindful sensuality and certainly not something based in subjugation or sensualityviolence. Erotica has existed for thousands of years, just as rapine has over conquered lands has but it is the rise of overt debasement of women over the last hundred years or so that is so troubling to me.

I caught a random Tweet commending a blog post by @AlyssaRoyse entitled The Dangers of Demonizing Male Sexuality. This resonated with me not from personal experience but rather because a woman I am ‘social media acquainted with’ has some rather vocal opinions about men being essentially the most base, ignorant and vile of any-species-breathing-on-the-planet. If you believe something to be true that is precisely what you will continue to experience and manifest that truth as your reality over and over again until it is nearly impossible to break the cycle.  I also maintain that to realize desirable behavior we need to provide clear guidelines to what is acceptable – from everyone in our lives.  Huma Weiner puts up with public humiliation over her husband Andrew’s activities and pundits speak of the fallout halting Hillary Clinton’s 2016 Presidential ElectionMadonna, in November 2013 Harper’s Bazaar, speaks of her having been raped at knife point while her biographer Lucy O’Brien cites how this traumatic event became the internal control mechanism for Madonna’s emotional survival and outlet for her creativity. Anoushka Shankar opens up about being violated by a expressly trusted family friend as a child for years.  Miley Cyrus is the latest darling of the publishing world by helping them to sell hundreds of thousands of copies of their magazines by embracing a marketing campaign that diminishes her ‘being’ to a mere object of sexual pleasure likewise Rihanna (and no doubt negatively impacting the lives of millions of girls and women who will be treated as such by men known and unknown to them – gee, thanks alot ‘ladies’! Not.). The madness has to stop!

In the case of growing girls into women who value themselves sufficiently not to pull a Miley Cyrus thereby allowing men who, though they might not actually be F***ing her, to certainly profit from her willingness to “go along, to get along” starts YOUNG. We cannot simply say that “boys will be boys” and condone the violation of, and violence against, women (and girls), and human trafficking, it starts by awareness (to prevent) and in celebrating examples of respect, integrity and reverence for humanity. 

Primarily, as it always has, it falls to adult women to guide this development.  If a woman stays in an abusive relationship, then her son will think that her treatment is what all women want, rather than something that is very wrong. Equally so her daughter witnesses this and the cycle continues. We, collectively, as a human race, must rise up and demand change and meaningful prosecution to shatter the behaviors that allow the gang rape and death of a young woman in Delhi, India or anywhere!  We need to grow women and men who can be proud of themselves for something beyond the place that ends between their legs, in developing a healthy regard for their own sexuality but ensuring that their self-esteem, which can take them so far in life, is rock solid. Damaged souls such as Rihanna and Miley need to own that youthful stars ascendant have the same undeveloped brains as other tweens, teens and young adults but when their choices (artistic and otherwise) make headlines the ripples have far reaching consequences.  

It’s been said, in any number of ways, that it takes a village to raise a child – every child should slut_shamingcome to adulthood with a highly developed sense of self-esteem and grounding which will not subject abuse (of any kind – and there are ALL KINDS) upon themselves or others. 

If you enjoy my blog please consider ‘buying me a cup of tea’ in your currency via PayPal at livelikeadog@gmail.com and do share it with your friends on Facebook, Google+ and Twitter – I am @TeresaFritschiTo order my book, please click on the cover art of my book below, thank you! 

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2 thoughts on “Society under the microscope – male violence, slut-shaming and just plain stupid

  1. Kanika

    Thank you so much for sharing reality again and again with people…plz continue digging out buried issues that have been,are and will be experienced all across the globe with people of all castes,creeds,gender,etc… And providing guidance as to how we can change our world with POSITIVE use of The LAW OF ATTRACTION …will create Powerful ripples…. GOODLUCK always

    Reply

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