Without apology, I have as rich a lexicon for tears as the Inuit have for snow.
I mention this for three reasons – first, a man I am acquainted with posted this on one of his Facebook pages over the weekend. Secondly, my neighbor Kanika passed her road test yesterday and now has her drivers’ license for the first time (she is in her early 30s) – I was so proud of her (especially because she overcame a sleepless night of nerves, and has only been driving just over 2 weeks) that I welled up with tears over her success. With the knowledge that she leaves tomorrow to return to India for a visit of 4 months, and afterward (the plan is) for her to join her husband in California and their new life, her gift of a last session of Reiki to me brought a flood of tears at its conclusion. Impermanence is omnipotent and we rarely (humankind) truly honor and cherish what is good for as long as it graces our lives.
Finally, a man I am growing to know made me cry tears based in an entirely new (or perhaps long forgotten) realm for me – being emotionally swamped by his transparency, beautiful intention and tenderness, and expressed desire to be present to wipe them away. 24 hours later I am still reeling and trying to process the scope of his words but, for now, I think I will focus on tears in general.
For tears, in all their many forms, have physiological benefit for our bodies, lubricating our eyes and provide psychological release from life’s uncertainty and suffering by ridding us of accumulated toxins in our bodies, drawing a loved one closer for comfort.
It would be a perfectly lovely, and loving, world if the types of tears which come as a result of stress, anger, sorrow, frustration, disappointment, betrayal, loss and grief, physical pain, anguish, and ridicule did not exist. Until such a day, we can only do what we can to mitigate and expunge their causes in the micro of our lives and for those around us so that in the macro of our world comes closer to realizing the promise of Nirvana.
At the other end of the spectrum are tears acknowledging a blessing of some kind – an epiphany, knowledge, reverence, awe, a connection to the Divine, joy, tenderness, bearing witness to love, being in love, kindness, beauty, laughter, wonder, appreciation, a gift of incomprehensible emotional value, friendship, success, and something we forget all too often as we are wrapped up in our own daily dramas, either being the recipient of, or providing, acknowledgment.
The tears I express most often are based in gratitude, and those that are generated from a white light ‘spinning’ in my solar plexus which I refer to as “getting the passions” are the heightened version of gratitude. If you are witness to my tears (or anyone’s I suppose) understand that oftentimes these are manifestations of such powerful emotions that I simply cannot find words to convey what is in my head and heart exists in perfect balance – tears, then, are my language of love.
As Kanika leaves my physical presence without a doubt I know that I am better for our connection – for surely it is based in some previous lifetime as it has been so powerful for me. And if they are blessed with children and I am so blessed with a future which holds promise of a deeper, romantic love than I can imagine possible I hope we will bear witness to the others’ joy in person. Until then, tears of deep gratitude and those related to having to say goodbye to someone I have come to love. There will always be a place in my heart that is uniquely yours Kanika.
This final note – an addendum – offered this morning by the man who wishes to brush my tears (seemingly in all their various forms) away: “All the tears finish one day in the sea.”