The radiator cover in my bathroom is vintage 1920s with a flat removable top, open back and a mesh front. The top allows me to use it as a shelf for the ephemera of being a woman – jars of cotton rounds and Q-tips, a sublime Slatkin scented candle, a crystal bowl of sea glass collected from my travels, tweezers, Argan oil – well, you get the idea. (Side note, the actor Michael Caine probably had it right that the secret to a long happy marriage is separate bathrooms!) The axiom of public relations of ‘perception is reality’ comes into play here, or rather my favorite variation on it ‘perception drives our reality’.
Lurking behind that radiator cover can surely be found the missing end caps to my lip and eye crayons, very likely the unique bathroom dust bunnies made up of towel lint and blow dried curls, perhaps a small binder clip used to keep my toothpaste tube ‘neat’. I intuitively know that there are tiny missing pieces to my collection of ‘girl stuff’ underneath it – I only need to clear off and remove the top, then lift the cover to reclaim them. In this case my perception and reality have fairly tiny ramifications. Think about that for a minute. Strip away the obstacles to what you need to find and put things to right, back in harmony, on a course to the next phase of living. The radiator cover (like all of the status quo aspects to which we cling) hides uncomfortable truths – a metaphor for denying possibilities. Each of us ‘should be’ living with the greatest level of authenticity imaginable, exploring other dimensions of reality that as children we would certainly explore because we wouldn’t over think the “what if’s”. This is what I mean by ‘perception drives our reality’.
Right now I am poised for life altering change because I got out of my own way. I have never lived anywhere (since childhood) in the same place as long as the city I have currently made my home, and it bothers me, a lot! I have existed here “in between” the best person I have been in my past and the one I wish to be in my future. Perhaps all of the energies expended on the life I previously lived required this bubble of time to re-calibrate but I have felt stifled. It took a casual comment via text from a friend that read “your life is love” to shift me out of complacency and take dramatic steps toward merging his perception with my reality. As I do so I am more aware of other people dear to me doing the same – almost as if the proactive steps are amplifying and my re-calibrated mindfulness is catching these actions like an internal dream-catcher to draw on and to honor for the benefit of others’ realities shifting. My ‘nephew’ Ryan is chasing his reality in playing professional baseball for a team founded in 1917 (not yet the MLB league but on the path to ‘being in the show’ – scroll down if you click) who just received a ‘blessing’ from Baseball Hall of Fame left-handed pitcher Tom Glavine (my eyes welled up with tears of gratitude in seeing this Facebook post). My girlfriend Jennifer (most of the time) has stopped trying to bend the local population to embrace her incredible gifts and in doing so is taking her rightful place (as envisioned by her 8-year old self) on the global stage as a thought leader and influencer, a key note speaker and highly valued contributor to fostering change through social media and traditional platforms.
Last evening I met a new man through OKCupid, when I woke this morning he had sent a message inviting me to connect with him via Skype, and that turned into an hour long, highly delightful discovery of ‘mutuality’ – from tea drinking and the use of spices, ley lines, and, amongst other topics, the ideal partner being a confluence of intellectual, spiritual, emotional and physical energy. “On paper” Francisco is nearly everything any woman would want – an entrepreneur who looks like a professional soccer player, a multicultural, multilingual Latin of French, Spanish and Italian heritage, obscenely charming – younger than I am (men die on average 7 years before women do). Yet I move toward ‘whatever this might be’ with equal parts enthusiasm and trepidation as he is a Scorpio male with whom I have had innumerable past crash and burn encounters (to his credit he is making a compelling argument for the differentiation he offers). I am trying hard not to let my past perceptions have negative influence on my future. To clear away the unwanted that has been concealed, live “in fullness of being”. To not only welcome but actually embrace that he (or any man) might possess all the attributes I could desire and to make my “life is love” part of my new reality.